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Self Portrait [2023 edition]

by Alaska Sargent

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1.
Body Horror 04:14
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Cycles and cycles of wires around my neck Particles on white walls expire through your sunset You know that I would do anything You know that I would break down in a heartbeat I give myself up to you Just so I can hear you say You love me You're happy Where you are Padded with fabric, I crumble when I'm without your presence You've really done a number on me, do you regret it? You know that I would do anything You know that I would break down in a heartbeat I give myself up to you Just so I can hear you say You love me You're happy Where you are I'll tear out my insides And let you wander in my mind I'll smear it all upon your face And let you feel a fresh disguise You know that I would do anything You know that I would break down in a heartbeat For you
2.
New York 03:07
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I've grown a little tired of fanatics I sing for little bugs that eat out holes inside my mattress And wake up to their blood smeared on the carpet I wonder if they understand the fear my mom has harbored I've seen her go through too much for a woman I know she wants it to be better, yet she thinks she shouldn't I search around for change between the cushions And maybe if we have enough, I'll take her back to Brooklyn When the moon shines over Ellis Island I'll find the nearest bridge and take her down right to the harbor Oh, if she may endure, I'll make sure there's something to offer I'll take a bus to Central and we'll stay there for the summer When the moon shines over Ellis Island I'll find the nearest bridge and take her down right to the harbor Oh, if she may endure, I'll make sure there's something to offer I'll take a bus to Central and we'll stay there for the summer I fall into the chains that house the wicked Remember all the names despite the embers of the bridges It fills my heart with uncertain resentment Why is it that when I have fun, I soon yearn to forget it? The frequent getaways became so selfish I jeopardized the house, I don't know how she worked around it She said she has a flight in just a moment I hope that she can see the magic that I felt in Brooklyn When the moon shines over Ellis Island I'll find the nearest bridge and take her down right to the harbor Oh, if she may endure, I'll make sure there's something to offer I'll take a bus to Central and we'll stay there for the summer When the moon shines over Ellis Island When the moon shines over Ellis Island I'll find the nearest bridge and take her down right to the harbor Oh, if she may endure, I'll make sure there's something to offer I'll take a bus to Central and we'll stay there for the summer
3.
Virgin Mary 03:24
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My mother told me That my father fucked her friend And even though I looked shocked I stared at the clock And I knew it was all pretend I'm in the Tahoe 4 o'clock, he took me to a dead harbor I've never seen his eyes so red And when I saw her Open up the door, and they looked at each other Then and there, I knew Virgin Mary couldn't care less I'm sorry, mother She didn't know it, and as far as I remember I forgot to bring my jacket As he walked out of the door that day I could hear my mother screaming Her voice continued breaking "Open your eyes up You're blind to the cold I fell for that side of you Couldn't process it all Motherfucker Now I shrug and sit alone You taught me how to love And Mary stood beside the altar" I hear the crows call my name I'm sorry, mother I hope you never change
4.
Sativa Indigo 02:52
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I hate my friends And I don't doubt They're all so sick of me And my pageantry I offered a home And we'd hold out Until I fell out of speech And left her bleeding Am I on your mind? Give it time, I'm sure I'll be forgotten Another hit or two, I'll be fine It's just my Sativa indigo Untamed heart again I break out in pieces You watch me on the edge When I drain the liquid from its insides I can't come to the phone, my heads in clouds Is it such a crime? Am I on your mind? Give it time, I'm sure I'll be forgotten Another hit or two, I'll be fine It's just my Sativa indigo
5.
Are You Forgetting Something? (feat. fearozzles) 02:51
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Hold your hand out Where did we take the fall And what did we surround? Hold your tongue back From the wolves that close you in Before you take another chance You feed like a leech And grit your teeth And yet, you smile And look up to me Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? I don't know what your intentions are anymore And I don't care You won't break my trust anymore I rather distance our space than another sleepless night And from all the shit you've done to me Can you get the fuck out my life? It was unforgivable Self destructible So predictable I'm fed up All I endured Unavoidable Always miserable But You feed like a leech And grit your teeth And yet, you smile And look up to me Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something? Are you forgetting something?

about

The fourth extended play from Alaska Sargent.

An exploration of trauma and guilt, of catharsis and unknowing. Through a worn canvas, I write for you, and I pray that you find me.

This is a culmination of literal blood, sweat and tears. I have cried for her, for me, and for you. It has become common for me to compose based on emotion rather than thought in many facets of life. This is more of an extension of that, rather than a narrative.

As it is now, there is no story to tell. There is no lesson to learn. It is purely an examination, a capsule of who I wish to outgrow. This state of mind serves as my Self Portrait.

credits

released June 9, 2023

Self Portrait
An extended play recorded by Alaska Sargent

Artistic direction designed by Alaska Sargent in collaboration with Meredith Franklin

Abigail Franklin: acoustic & electric guitar, drums and additional vocals on tracks 1, 3, 4, 5 and ?
Brooklynn Ivy: additional production as Self Discovery on track 3
JHL: additional arrangement on track 4
Kaden Johanson: acoustic guitar, bass and dulcimer on tracks 2 and 3
Mason Stepper: acoustic guitar and songwriting on tracks 1 and 2
Tristan Valenti: piano on tracks 1, 3, 4, and 5

Track 2, "New York", contains a sample from "Yours Truly!" by Pelican Party!, written by Cooper Alexander, Nathaniel Ivey and Nelson Green.

© 2023 Alaska Sargent
℗ 2023 Alaska Sargent

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Alaska Sargent Portland, Maine

THE "OVER MY DEAD BODY" INSIGNIA WAS DESIGNED BY THEFOXOVERLORD. THE ARTISTIC DIRECTION OF "OVER MY DEAD BODY" WAS OVERSEEN BY KOREY BENT OF WYREMEDIA, A MULTIMEDIA COMPANY.

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